Boy: Hindi. Ang lakas kasi ng putok mo.
-o-
Guy 1: I jUst left my job. I couldn’t work after what my boss saId to me.
Guy 2: What did he say to you?
Guy 1: You are fired!
-o-
Mom: You have two options for dinner.
Dad: What are they?
Mom: Eat it or go hungry.
-o-
Whoever thinks money does not bring happiness, please transfer it to my account.
-o-
Teacher: Class, our topic today is genetics. Question: What do you call the child of a girl from Iceland and a boy from Cuba.
Class: What?
Teacher: Ice cube!
-o-
Boy friend.
You see that little space between the two words? That’s called “friend zone”.
-o-
When you clean a vaccum cleaner, you become a “vaccum cleaner”.
-o-
Behind every angry woman stands a man, who have absolutely no idea what he did wrong.
-o-
I want a girl who likes long romantic walks. Because I don’t have a car.
-o-
Manager: So why do you want this job?
Applicant: Because I always have been passionate about not starving to death.
-o-
Professor: What inspired you to write this eassy?
Student: The deadline.
-o-
New rule being proposed:
Peo-le should be required to read a book for every 10 selfies they take.
-o-
Says a graduating high school student: I’m gonna stay a virgin for life so I can set a good example for my children.
-o-
Husbands are the best people to share your secrets with. They’ll never tell anyone because they aren’t listening, in the first place.
-o-
During disaster, women and children are evacuated first.
The reason: So the men can think of a solution in silence.
-o-
One day in Mars lasts 1,408 hours.
It’s the same as Monday on Earth.
-o-
When an application form asks who to contact in an emergency, I always put ambulance of police. I mean, what can my mother do in an emergency?
